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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282398">“I know”</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KindaJustHere/pseuds/KindaJustHere'>KindaJustHere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Overanalyzing Hermitcraft facts/details/events [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Based on Grian’s episode 61, Crying, Grian has a breakdown, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, bdubs dies but respawn soo, mentions of permadeath, yeah it’s that, yknow when Bdubs shots himself?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:55:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KindaJustHere/pseuds/KindaJustHere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bdubs was used to death. He was used to being killed by his fellow hermits. He was very used to being killed by Grian. Maybe a little too much.</p><p> </p><p>(This is based off Grian’s episode 61 of hermitcraft season 7 where Bdubs says “I know” and shoots himself)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charles | Grian &amp; John | BdoubleO100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Overanalyzing Hermitcraft facts/details/events [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>172</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>“I know”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey yeah I wrote this at 1am have fun guys</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bdubs smiled as he walked through his village. It had been a good day. Despite losing the war and becoming a delivery boy just a few days prior, everything was peaceful. As the chilly wind nipped at his (already cold) nose, he was grateful for this moment.</p><p>Quiet, calm moments didn’t come often to Bdubs these days. A lot of his time was spent helping Scar with the war effort, building (for himself or for others, both were quite common), restocking shops, or getting shot at. Bdubs got shot at a lot. He had died to skeletons multiple times, not to mention the illager problem he seemed to be having. This all didn’t account for his friends.</p><p>Bdubs was no stranger to dying. He died quite a lot, not as much as Scar, but a lot. That would be fine, except for the fact that quite a few of his demises were caused by his friends. When dying via a player, a mask of the player who died’s face will appear for the former player to take as a prize. Everyone really seemed to like Bdubs’ mask.</p><p>However, no one liked Bdubs’ mask as much as Grian, the leader of the resistance. Grian killed Bdubs plenty of times, in fact, it was a little worrying how much he killed him. Sometimes, Grian would go to his bed and kill him multiple times. Over and over again he would be stabbed, slashed, and shot. It was getting to the point where he was scared of Grian, his own friend!</p><p>Bdubs shook his head at the thought of Grian. Grian never really seemed to show too much emotion. Sure, his voice was happy and loud, but his facial expressions lacked quite heavily. Bdubs could never tell the mood Grian was in, and that was also quite scary.</p><p>This time, Bdubs stopped in the middle of the road that he carefully crafted and facepalmed. He was ashamed of himself. Sure, it was normal and acceptable to be afraid of mobs and the night, but Grian was a fellow hermit! A friend! So what if Grian would stare at Bdubs directly with his soulless eyes as he stabbed him through the stomach with the netherite sword? So what if some of the only joy he saw in Grian’s eyes was right before he disappeared only to respawn with incredibly painful phantom pains? Grian was his friend!</p><p>Right?</p><p>Bdubs hummed to himself to hopefully clear his thoughts and continued walking until he had just passed under his bridge only for Grian himself to fly in and land right in front of Bdubs. </p><p>Bdubs flinched.</p><p>Bdubs looked down at Grian, one of the only hermits smaller than him, and sighed before the other could say a word. Grian raised his hand with his finger pointed up as if he was going to speak before he got interrupted. His stoic face held a slight hint of confusion.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Reaching for his bow that rested on his belt, Bdubs picked up a few arrows that were lying on the ground. He locked the arrow into the bow and shot into the air. Grian’s face held even more confusion, and was that amusement? Bdubs couldn’t tell. The arrow came down as quickly as it came up.</p><p>Bdubs head erupted in pain.</p><p>He heard chuckling.</p><p>Bdubs looked up. When had he fallen to the ground? Why did this hurt so much? Why didn’t he die? He heard heavily accented words in the thickening air, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. It was like the words danced around his head but never quite made it to his ears.</p><p>The words raised in volume and pitch as they continued. They began to sound of words of worry instead of amusement. Bdubs was confused. Why hadn’t Grian killed him yet? Why was Grian leaving him to suffer? Was Grian really that sadistic?</p><p>Bdubs felt himself being hoisted up into his feet, but he couldn’t stand. He shook as he tried to lay back down, that was until a sword pierced his stomach, and everything went numb.</p><p> </p><p>Bdubs woke up in his bed, his head and stomach hurt like hell. He keeled over his stomach, crying out from the pain. With a few deep breaths, he managed to calm down and lay in a way that didn’t bug his phantom pains too bad.</p><p>Bdubs jerked his head to the side suddenly when he heard a voice. “Thank god you’re awake. I was beginning to get worried.”</p><p>Bdubs shot Grian a questioning look while he reached up to hold his head in pain. “Oh yeah, you were out for, like, an hour! X said that he was fixing some problems with respawn, what in the hell were you thinking, killing yourself like that? Did you not check your communicator?”</p><p>“I mean, I was having a peaceful walk so no, but I thought you wanted my mask! Why would you be hunting me while X messed with respawn mechanics?” Bdubs shivered, thinking about how if this were any normal time, then Grian would definitely be slicing his head clean off at that very moment.</p><p>Grian suddenly looked a little bit sad, Bdubs had never seen him look like that. “No, Bdubs, I was going to ask you where your nether portal is. Do I really kill you that often?”</p><p>With hesitation, the taller man nodded. “That’s the only reason you ever visit me.” He added a chuckle at the end of his sentence to hopefully seem less sad.</p><p>Grian cringed and approached Bdubs, who promptly flinched away. Sucking in a breath, he placed a hand on Bdubs’ hand and then let go of his breath. “I’m so, so sorry Bdubs.”</p><p>For the first time ever, Bdubs saw Grian show emotion. Real emotion. He watched as tears fell from Grian’s normal stoic and soulless eyes. He looked genuinely apologetic.</p><p>Grian sobbed and used his other hand to wipe away his tears that were free falling to the floor. “God Bdubs, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never realized. The way you flinch when I’m around, the way you avoid eye contact when talking to me, you’re scared aren’t you? I’ve made you scared of me.”</p><p>With his last sentence, Bdubs saw a flash of recognition in Grian’s eyes. He wanted to say something, anything! But all he could do was look away.</p><p>Grian gulped one of his sobs down and gripped Bdubs’ hand more. “I don’t know how I never realized. But, god, Bdubs, when I saw you slump to the floor with an arrow in your head, I was terrified. I hated to see you suffer. I couldn’t- I wouldn’t let you suffer. But I didn’t want to kill you permanently! But, I just couldn’t leave you there. I’m so sorry I put you in so much danger. I could’ve killed you for good! I’m- I’m just like Sam!”</p><p>Now, Bdubs knew Grian had a hard past, he knew that Grian stayed in hermitcraft to escape said past. Of course, he knew literally no details, but if this ‘Sam’ character had permanently killed someone in front of Grian, then he couldn’t blame the other for being so scared of it happening to Bdubs.</p><p>Slowly, Bdubs wiggled his hand out of Grian’s and flipped it over to properly hold his hand. He looked Grian in the eyes and smiled, not the giant fake smile that was plastered on all the masks of him, but a genuine, small, smile. “Hey. I forgive you. It, well, it may take a while for me to stop flinching, but I’ll try my best.”</p><p>Grian grinned through his sobs. “Yeah? Really?”</p><p>Bdubs nodded, ignoring the pain it caused. “Yeah. Really. Just try to cut down on the- y’know-“</p><p>Grian pulled Bdubs in for a hug. “I know.”</p>
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